question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
