My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
