God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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