so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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