How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
