Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
