You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
40s are totally the cure
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize