someone get that fucking seahorse.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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