you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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