Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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