So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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