I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
