I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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