so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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