You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
