Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
