we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
