I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
too bad you live with your parents still
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
