I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
