and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Randomize
