Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
