wakey wakey hands off snakey
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
