WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
