so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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