Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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