So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize