the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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