shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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