Fine. I'll sleep in my office
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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