I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
