hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
