Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
