you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
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