The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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