What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
my shit smells like andre
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
