We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
