We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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