Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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