Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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