btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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