considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
you didnt know i had herpes?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
