In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
