Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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