Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
