Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
