Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
