i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize