i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
