I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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