you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
