5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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