I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize