It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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