I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
