YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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