Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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