Just mADE A PArabola og urine
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
