its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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