im drinking this country out of the recession.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Randomize
