Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
