the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
